Last year I was taking a course on companies’ law, the lecturer gave out our seat numbers and we were asked never to switch places with anyone. Daleen ended up sitting beside me through the whole semester, we used to exchange hellos and how are yous and all that sort of greetings but we never really talked. Naturally I skipped a lot of lectures, and she would always volunteer and keep me updated with the latest assignments, tests and anything the lecturer says. Once, we greeted each other like we always do and then she reached inside her handbag, took out some papers and gave them to me, “ He asked us to bring a copy of those papers, so I brought one for you, I figured since you skipped the previous lecture that you did not know” (He refers to the lecturer), anyway, she handed me a copy, I thanked her and expressed my appreciation. The end.

This semester I’m taking a course with Daleen again, her seat number is next to mine. Last week she did it again! I had skipped a lecture where the professor gave us an assignment, she did my assignment for me and gave it to me the next lecture, it had my name and seat number on it! This girl is so sweet! She left me in a state of shock! I never knew people who are this nice even existed! We’re not friends and she doesn’t want anything from me, she’s simply nice! I thanked her, and I’m very nice and sweet to her, but I still feel that I owe her big time, and I have no clue how to repay her! She never skips a lecture, she’s never late to one, so I’m kind of stuck here, how do you repay an extremely nice person?

I decided to be nice to people I don’t know, she really inspired me! I mean I AM a nice person in general, I always offer my help to people I’m not friends with, especially when they do not ask for help, I DO help people out, but I decided I’d do more good deeds to people I don’t know, just a second ago I did a very nice thing that should save a girl I’m not friends with a lot of effort, thanks to Daleen! I just can’t get over how nice she is, she’s sooooooooo nice, soooooooooo nice, do you get how nice she is? Sooooo nice!

I once read somewhere that the new year resolutions we make are made to be broken, not kept. I believe that is very true.

A couple of years ago in November I made a list, my new year resolutions list of things I hoped to achieve, up until this year my list has been the same, nothing was added, edited or omitted simply because nothing was achieved, nothing included in the list that is.

This year I decided to throw out the previously mentioned list and make a new one, since I have a lot of free time on my hands right now with my mid-terms and all, I focused for around an hour, my mind shifting from one thought to another, one person to another, thought it through and ended up with a blank piece of paper, I wondered why, and then it hit me, I had no pen. No seriously, I realized that things I usually write down in my lists are things I thought I should achieve, not things I very much wanted to achieve. Almost everything I want is within my reach and I was too busy to notice that because, by nature, we stress too much on digging up things that are missing which causes us to miss out on the joy the things we already have can bring us.

There are a lot of things I want to achieve in my life, a lot of things I’m working hard for, those are things I want with all my heart, not because I believe that after I achieve them life would be so much happier and easier but because the mere proccess of working to achieve them is capable of making me happy.

The biggest mistake people can ever do is to base everything in their lives on something that is non-existent, telling yourself that once you get that certain thing/ do that certain thing/ achieve that certain thing, everything will be okay, you’ll be happy and you can press play and carry on with life. Examples of the latter case are countless, those who burry themselves in work and put their lives on hold to make a lot of money so that they can spend it ten years later and become happy, guess what, you won’t be happy ten years later because by then you’d have forgotten what happiness is like.

A lot of people are somewhat satisfied, very few are truly happy, when you ask a person what would make him happy the answer will definitely start with “HAVING”, try it if you don’t believe it, whether it was having more money, having a job, a wife, children, some peace of mind, muscles, a car, a true friend, an undo button, a beloved one back or a chocolate bar. We make believe that after having whatever it is we want we’d be happy. True, crime rates are the highest among the underprivileged and poor, but studies show that suicide rates are highest among the privileged and successful, bottom line is, we waste our lives trying to have something we’re going to end up not wanting, if you think you need to achieve or have something then enjoy the process of getting it and in the meanwhile appreciating what you already have wouldn’t hurt, it is nice to look ahead and be ambitious, but don’t let thoughts of what you can or might have in the future ruin your present, life is not measured by the years you lived, it is measured by what you do in the time you’re living right now, you might have the most perfect plan that is a definite success on how to raise a million, and you could die before getting close to your goal, you’ll die a happy person if every step you took to your goal made you happy, if you enjoyed every bit and made the most out of it, if you REALLY LIVED every day instead of wasting it on hoping for things you’ll probably never have.

This is my 2008 resolution: Never make new year resolutions, ever again. Life is too short to waste it on making lists. My goals cannot be summed up in a sentence or two, every single second I spend figuring out what I want, every single second I spend getting what I want and every single second I spend after I get what I want are seconds lost from my life, seconds I’ll never have back, and I plan to enjoy each and every one of MY seconds to the fullest.

 Save, print out, hang on the wall.

Brought to you by Three,

Ramadan is just around the corner, finally! It feels weird typing this though, the past year has flown by so quickly and with this specific Ramadan I’m having flashbacks of the past year, the year 2006.

Yes it’s going to be tiring to go twelve hours without drinking water in this hot weather, but I just can’t wait. For some reason, unlike any other religious occasion Ramadan is something I look forward to, with all the coziness, warmth, the family gatherings and the feeling of satisfaction I get every single day as the sun sets declaring the end of a day’s fasting.

Too many memories related to Ramadan, sweet, weird and funny ones.

I remember the detecting methods for fasting we used when we were kids, pinching the skin on one of our fingers was one of them, the rest are plain embarrassing. I also remember how we would go around annoying other kids at school in an attempt to drive them to shout at us or be mean to us so that we could tell them : Allahumma inni sa2em! And then they’d go around feeling guilty about being mean to us because we are taught that Ramadan – Just like any other month -  is all about forgiveness, love and tolerance, so the whole point of fasting is to be able to clear your mind, feel with the less fortunate, count your blessings and be thankful for all you’ve got and haven’t got, and hence feeling peace and serenity inside and expressing it.

 I remember a song kids used to sing ( Which by the way is not related to fundamentalism or terrorism in any way, it is just a song kids made up ) that goes like:

Ya mefter Ramadan, ya khayen deenak, missitna il samra tfattes masareenak. Hehehe

I also love how people in Jordan remember grocery shopping a few minutes before Iftar, they all rush to buy whatever they need at the last minute and so get stuck in traffic, and then all the swearing starts;

Meen il 7mar illi a3tak il rokhsa?

Mabrouk il share3!

Aftar 3alaik?!

I’m not being sarcastic by the way, it is really funny in a weird sort of way. I also love how empty the streets in Amman are right after Iftar, all the stores are closed, people are at their homes probably eating Atayef,the weather dark and chilly outside, just priceless!

Ramadan Mubarak all, hope this Ramadan brings with it warmth, happiness, forgiveness and peace of mind, make the most out of it.

Inspired from personal experiences.

I hate how people cling to other people, things or memories and avoid starting anything new, or giving anything else a shot.  One thing I truly love about myself is that nothing is easier for me than throwing something behind my back and starting over if that specific thing turns into a hopeless case or causes me a lot of unnecessary headache (Insert nods from angels one and two).

Moving on is not about avoiding to talk about/to  something/someone ,it is not about avoiding to do things or avoiding to go back to things that remind you of someone/something, it is the ability of staring everything that reminds you of what you’re trying to forget in the eye and not feeling a single thing.

A lot of people mistake being able to stay away from a thing or a person for moving on, when in fact the only thing that comes out of avoiding situations is putting your feelings to sleep for a while only to realize out of a sudden that they did not vanish but on the contrary, they grew deeper.

Moving on is being able to look back on what was, smile and think how thankful you are for what is  , becoming obsessed is looking back on what was , feeling bitter and angry and assuring yourself that what was is not over yet until you say it is.

Nothing is the end of the world except for THE end of the world, what seems like a tragedy today might become an embarrassing  memory later on that you could look back on and punch yourself in the face for. Instead of focusing on how hard it would be to move on and start something new just keep one thing in mind; things change, people change, they move on, nothing stays the same forever and you don’t always get your way, if something is destined to happen it will without all the constant whining and the desperate attempts to make it happen as soon as possible, and regardless of who disapproves of it, and if something is not destined to happen it won’t, even if the whole world gathered to make it happen.

Three

 Brought to you by Three

The thing about hangovers is that not only alcohol causes them but anything in excessive amounts does. I’m suffering from a mental hangover, been thinking a lot recently,  about everything.
A lot of people strive to appear perfect, we all know that the state of perfection cannot be reached by humans but a lot of people try to look perfect. I hate rude careless irresponsible people who say and do things without giving either any prior thought, I can bear having to talk to them for a while because I believe that, even though they get on my nerves big time and even though talking to some of them can be degrading, they are harmless. What  I cannot bear at all are people who think a lot about things and plan every single word they utter beforehand, I just can’t deal with similar people. Those who live by a handbook are almost never real or sincere, they gather a couple of principles that look appealing while applied by others and try to apply them to real life situations, they mostly fail or fail to be convincing.  The reason behind that is mostly fear and no self esteem or confidence, People who feel that they can never be good enough while being themselves, people who feel that they need to look perfect so as to make others like them,  people who believe that they need to be cheerful, happy and funny 24/7, people who keep going on and on about how confident they are, people who end up lonely and friendless, stupid people.

Striving to become a better person is good, suffocating the real you to save yourself the embarrassments you could cause yourself is bad and pathetic.
I love a lot of people, non of them is perfect, if I wanted perfect and planned reactions, words or actions I would’ve befriended a dictionary, but that is not what I want. I’m imperfect, just like everyone out there, I have very bad and annoying habits and traits, but the bad comes with the good, the beautiful with the ugly, if we were to focus on everything that is bad about people we’d end up being  a bunch of lonely cave-people, but we were all born imperfect just like each other, we put up with each other’s bad traits because we love the good ones so very dearly, and with time, what we thought were bad traits become things we cannot live without, things we wouldn’t trade for the whole world.

I’d choose a stupid mansaf-eating, soda –drinking faisali-cheering human over perfect anytime of the day.

 Brought to you by Three

When a new couple gets married people shower them with questions all day long; is SHE pregnant yet? Are YOU pregnant yet? Until the female gets pregnant, and then they switch to: Boy or girl?! And when she reaches her fifth month and the gender of the baby is known the question becomes : Did you choose a name yet? If the answer was no, usually people make the same lame joke, assuming that the person talking is called X, this is how the conversation would go:

X: Any name in mind?
Parents: Not really
X: You should call him/her X, he/she’ll inherit my (Fill in the blank with a good feature, please exclude sense of humor).

Ha-Ha, how original!

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a carriage.

This is how it should always be, if you skip a step, or if you don’t rush into the next one then something’s terribly wrong with you.
Do people just assume that I want to have kids? I’m not saying that I don’t want to have kids, but it’s just that I can’t stand the thought of having my life pictured for me before I get a chance to realize what I really want, do I have to start picturing my wedding at the age of eight while playing with barbies just because this is the usual path people take?

Does a husband just assume that his wife won’t be able to wait until she carries his baby for nine months? Would he just assume that she will be willing to leave her goals, ambitions and dreams, place them aside and busy herself with baby-shopping? Or that she’ll be willing to dress like a tent for nine months? Perhaps he’ll assume that she’ll be eager to have her feet swollen, that she’ll sleep every night with the hope that she’ll wake up with a morning nausea? We’ll be carrying the baby for nine months, we’ll have to put up with all the back pains, the swollen feet, the nausea and the weight gain, and eventually we’ll breast feed the baby for months, not the father, not the mother in law and surely not our curious neighbours. Those people owe us to at least ask us if we want to have a baby, if we’re physically and emotionally ready for that, getting married does not mean that we want to have kids, or that we’re ready.

What? Do they get to take that decision on our behalf? Or does it come with the “advantage” of being someone’s wife?

This is the exact reason why most children do not get raised properly,  this is why a huge number of kids are physically and emotionally abused by their parents, and this is of course the reason why a huge number of kids are neglected. Most people are eager to have kids because that is what they believe they should do, because it’s the “norm”, they just do it, ignorantly and without thinking, people do it, we should too.

If you think it is “Haram” not to have kids, you should think twice, it’s “haram” + inhuman + savage + heartless + stupid to have kids you won’t be able to support, both financially and emotionally.

The thought of having my child ask me a question I do not know the answer to freaks me out, the thought of my child being ill and me not being able to take his pain away is disheartening, when and if I decide to have kids, I want to make sure that I’ll be everything those weak, lovely, innocent, saintly creatures would need, the doctor, the mother, the friend, the teacher and even the plumber, I need to make sure that I wouldn’t be doing them injustice by bringing them to this life and not being able to take care of them.

The second you become a parent, you’re a parent for life, you can’t divorce your kids, and you can’t go back in time, you take years to think a relationship through and it takes you a decade to decide whether you should order regular soda or diet soda with your meal, take a couple of hours out of your very fruitful and busy life to think this through, if you can’t do it (Most males would be thinking to themselves right now: Eh, what the hell is she talking about! Of course I can do it! Is she questioning my sperm?) So ANYWAY, if you can’t do “the parenting thing” then don’t have kids, you’ll do yourself, your kids and society a huge, huge, huuuuuuuge favor.

Brought to you by Three

So nerds wish they had more fun back at school, unemployed good looking people who didn’t make it through High school wish they had spent more time studying and less time partying and being the annoying trouble makers they are, and finally there are those who weren’t nerds nor trouble makers back at school, those who didn’t exactly enjoy school days to the max nor do they have a job with a great pay that compensates for all the times they didn’t party along with the others, those who do not know where it all went wrong and so do not know what exactly to wish for or regret. 

Well, apparently everything comes with a price tag, no matter what the choices we make are, later on we’ll be wondering what if we chose a different path, so you have a choice; you can live your life just for the sake of passing days and time and end up landing an average job with an average pay, an average car, average house, average life and no “What if’s” .  Sounds nice, right? A life with no regrets? Stability? Well not really, the “No what if’’s” part is caused by the fact that you didn’t choose a thing, a path! You laid back and let other people steer the wheal for you, you didn’t LIVE your life, there’s nothing in it that you can call your own, because you welcomed anything life threw at you with open arms, you didn’t fight for what you want, or in some cases what you did not want. You were the average employee in the average cubicle signing average papers for a couple who wanted to buy some stocks, so after you’re done signing the papers you go back to your average cubicle doing your average paperwork while the couple who just bought stocks had the price of their stocks triple and flew to Hawaii to celebrate that, or, worst case scenario? The prices of their stocks didn’t triple, they reached half the original price, they lost some money and the couple realized they should be more careful with their money because their life savings –That are supposed to pay for their children’s tuition fees- are not to be messed with!

What did you “The average person” lose? Nothing, but the more important question is, what did you gain from the experiences you’ve been through?! And the answer is also nothing, so your day can perhaps be summed up in a word that spells: N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
Okey I realize it’s just one day and that life isn’t a Hollywood movie where everyday there is action, so let’s sum up your life experiences this time, the losses and gains, in four words? Yeah four words seems fair, so let’s see how this spells:

N-O-T   A   S-I-N-G-L-E   T-H-I-N-G.

The only time we REALLY examine our options is when they are out of our reach, that is human nature, so unless you’re planning on having the same mindset three billion years from now you’ll have to surrender to the fact that there is no perfect choice, the bad comes with the good, and what seems like an excellent choice now might seem like a stupid one twenty years later. You’ll change as time goes by, and so will the way you view things. If something feels right then go for it, avoiding to make decisions will not save you future regrets, it’ll cause you to miss out on things you want with all your heart or lessons you might need to learn on your own.

To hell with average things, go for what you want, if you reach your goal please mention that I inspired you when you go on OPRAH Winfrey’s show, and if you don’t, at least you’ll have something to blog about!

 Brought to you by Three,

Sometimes it takes an unfortunate occuring to realise how lucky you’ve been, a farewell to realize how much a certain person means or used to mean to you and a bunch of back-stabbing hypocrites to figure out who your true friends are. I never needed any of the above to realize how lucky I am for having a couple of true friends I cherish more than anything, this is a toast for the beginning of our first mutual project together, a toast of our friendship that has stood in the face of everything for over a year.

Cheers girls!